e as people are always changing. It is through our experiences that shape who we are and our mindsets in life. As mentioned in my 2017 recap, last year was not the best year for me. Through my winter break, I used it as a period of taking a break from everything and really taking the time to look back at my past experiences and analyze different aspect of my life; from my career to my relationships, to my own interests.
Over the past month of December I’ve had a lot of realizations and done a bit of soul searching. I’ve been looking at who I am and what my value are and I’ve really felt like I’m becoming my true self. Of course we’re always our true selves. But, there’s a difference from being your true self and being your true self; a difference from being true but letting yourself bend than to be consistently and authentically yourself throughout, no matter what.
I realized what was working and what wasn’t. I pointed out the problem areas within myself and that around me and planned to make those changes needed. An something that I noticed a lot through all this analysis was that I was fading away from my true self. I was always striving to fit in, in the sense of trying to please others for positive reactions. But I reached a point where I stopped caring to please. I would always be disappointed with failure in my own expectations or I just wouldn’t feel like myself. It took a minute, but I had realized and accept what I actually care about and what things I have no care for. I was letting myself do things that didn’t make me feel like me; for gratification, to ‘fit in’ for the moment. Only to end in pitting feelings of wondering why you feel out of place when everything seemed fine.
This was never a good feeling. So I made a promise to myself that I would make it a point be my true self; to not bend for the sake of ‘fitting in’. To be angry or sad when I want to be and let out those emotions in the moments, to laugh and even when the jokes aren’t favorable, to be happy and be friendly to those who but, and to let go and never look back for my own good even with the negative backlash to come from it.
Being your true self is doing what makes you happy no matter what.
Learning to be your true self isn’t always an easy thing to do. It will be bumpy. You won’t always feel comfortable or might feel like the odd one out. You might find yourself drifting away from what you found familiar. You’ll experience a shift in your mindset and how you view things, like a changes in humor or values. You’ll even see drifts in your relationships. And that’s okay, that’s just life.
Something that’s hard sometimes to understand is that you don’t have to put on a facade of something you’re not just to avoid problems or keep up a positive image. It’s okay to not like certain things even though everyone else does. You’re allowed to be the odd one out. It’s okay to be angry even when you’re known for being nice. We’re human, we’re not perfect.
You’re not always going to fit in with the crowd. There will always be points in our lives where it seems like you’re an outsider and that’s okay too. Before thinking that something is wrong with yourself, think about the crowd you’re wanting to fit in to. What about that crowd is so appealing? Do you value the same things? Would you feel comfortable being a part of the crowd? And most importantly, can you be your authentic self without feeling like you have to change? Remember, everyone deserves the chance to be their authentic selves and there’s always a group for everyone.
Overall, the most important thing to remember is that in being your true self, you must love you for you. about. No matter all the changes you’ll experience, at the end of the day you will be comfortable in the fact that you can be your authentic self.
I hope you can feel like you can be who you were truly meant to be.